Welcome to Jacob's Website
I've broken four different bones: medial malleolus, tibial plateau, clavicle, and the carpel at the base of my thumb. I've played drums in six bands that have recorded songs. I haven't had a mullet in a long time, but I have what I refer to as "Beard Day," where, at the end of spring, I invent new styles of facial hair that are so disgusting they can only be worn for a day, or until I need to carry on a conversation with my wife. She will not even look at me on these days. Once I forgot I shaved the entire left half of my face but not the right and inadvertently answered the door to speak with a PBS solicitor. He said nothing, was a complete professional. He delivered his script and then promptly fled.
I should also mention that I graduated from the University of Minnesota with an English degree. I published two stories in the UMN publication, The Ivory Tower in back-to-back years: My Own Language and a version of Watch Our Pride Blister. There I also met Patrick W. Marsh, to whom I contributed a nonfiction column for his online publication Calamities Press. I am also excited to be a part of Medicine for a Nightmare: Part Two (check it out)! I've written versions of four novels and am excited to tune them into more enjoyable versions of themselves.
First, most publishers want work that isn't otherwise available. The work on this site is for people wishing to read unfinished, unpublished work, hopefully with some ideas on how I can improve it. If you just want a story, that's awesome, but a login allows you to agree to those terms so that, one day, one of the pieces you may have helped me with will end up published elsewhere. Also, feel free to use your superhero name and your old Hotmail or Yahoo email that you otherwise reserve for junk mail.
Second, I want this site to have some degree of interaction. I don't know anything about bots or websites, but evil is everywhere on the internet. I'd like to protect myself and my readers from people that make $12,000 in just four weeks by clicking here to get started.
Third, I am building an empire. As soon as there are enough users on this site, I will execute Order 66 and have you terminate all the jedi.